Skip to main content

Detours

I attended a retreat recently - really just a girls getaway. While I was there, I was doing some reading and I came across this quote by Christa Wells on her blog:
Today and for the past week I’ve fought hard to stay present and emotionally-armed as I am reminded at every turn of a painful detour in my life. My friend said a week ago: “The detour is the path.” It’s been bouncing around in my head ever since.And making me angry, too. I mean, some detours could be avoided, right? Some detours become necessary only because people are selfish and put up roadblocks that affect everybody on the road. Right?Yes.So what? Here we are. What are we going to do about it? Here I am taking this unexpected route, a route I didn’t see on the map, and have no knowledge of or interest in. Taking this route is going require re-arranging and will make me miss some beautiful things I’ve looked forward to. I’m tired and my pack is heavy and the view ain’t that great.This detour hurts. A lot.

Oh, how those words resonate with me. Over the last 12 months, I have found detour after detour that I hadn't accommodated for in my own plan. But I can't control them; I can't change them. And so, they have become my new path. 

Some of those detours have made me blindingly furious. Furious at other people for making selfish decisions and being so short-sighted they couldn't or wouldn't see how their choices forced others to abruptly change long-held plans, miss amazing moments we had all been looking forward to and re-route in a direction I was never interested in to begin with. I've had to work to let go of the anger - which, let's be honest, is just a mask we wear to try to hide the pain from anyone who happens to be looking. 

Some of my detours have actually stopped me in my tracks. They sent me down a road I didn't ever expect to find myself going down and the way was rough and ridden with huge potholes. I came to a complete standstill, paralyzed by the place I found myself in. Everyone I know would have expected me to plow right through the obstacle in front of me and keep going, but I didn't. And then I had to face my own reaction and why it was and what that meant and how I would handle that same kind of rough, treacherous road again if ever I was forced to take that same detour. 

And then somehow I got separated from the group and began to travel, seemingly alone, down this latest detour. There don't seem to be too many people going this particular way, and that is disconcerting all on its own. The signs aren't very clear, and sometimes it seems everything ahead is shrouded in fog and all the corners are way too sharp to see around. 

Sara Groves sings a song that says:
"...The future feels so hard And I want to go back But the places they used to fit me Cannot hold the things I've learned Those roads were closed off to me While my back was turned The past is so tangible I know it by heart Familiar things are never easy To discard I was dying for some freedom But now I hesitate to go I am caught between the Promise And the things I know."
I know I'm not the only one who is facing detours . . . whose plans went from well-defined and scheduled to unclear with an entirely unknown arrival time. I'm not the only one who has hit the ground hard and gasped desperate to fill lungs with air after having their feet completely knocked out from under them. I'm not alone in laying there, flat on my back, staring at the ceiling and wondering if I even have it in me to get up again. 

But I know you are also like me in the fact that you will pull yourself up off that floor, even if it's on to unsteady feet. You will raise your head up again to look into the distance and search for just what might be on the horizon. You will find a way to look around to the few other travelers on your solitary road and encourage them, and it will mean even more because it is birthed from a woundedness that is common to only those walking that same road. 

I know because I see it happening. I know because it's in your eyes even when the pain there is so heavy and thick, it's hard for people to see past. I know because it's your character. It's WHO you were meant to be even when you don't remember, for the moment, who you are. I'd love to be the one to remind you . . . to encourage you . . . to offer to walk with you for as long as I can . . . to remind you that there is hope - there is always hope. 

Sara Groves sings another song that says this:
It's been a hard year But I'm climbing out of the rubble These lessons are hard Healing changes are subtle 
But every day it's Less like tearing, more like building Less like captive, more like willing Less like breakdown, more like surrender Less like haunting, more like remember 
And I feel you here And you're picking up the pieces Forever faithful It seemed out of my hands, a bad situation But you are able 
And in your hands the pain and hurt Look less like scars and more like character Less like a prison, more like my room It's less like a casket, more like a womb Less like dying, more like transcending Less like fear, less like an ending 
Just a little while ago I couldn't feel the power or the hope I couldn't cope, I couldn't feel a thing Just a little while back I was desperate, broken, laid out, hoping You would come 
And I need you And I want you here And I feel you And I know you're here And you're picking up the pieces Forever faithful"

That is the direction I'm headed in. 
Wanna walk a little ways with me? 


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Extravagantly . . . A Personal Post

There haven't been many personal posts from me in quite some time. I find I can't schedule them; I simply have to wait until it comes pouring from my emotions through my brain and into my fingertips.

Apparently today, I have something to say.

I've been reading a really challenging book with an unusual title. Brace yourself - it'sGod and Boobs by Angie Schuller-Wyatt. Yep, Schuller, as in Robert Schuller of the Crystal Cathedral. It's written by his granddaughter. I was a little wary when I received a copy to review. Honestly I was afraid it was going to be irreverent at best and unbiblical at worst. But I haven't found that to be true. In fact, I've been very surprised to find it challenging and encouraging of me as a believer and as a woman - fully and completely, a woman.

One of the things that it mentioned is how often we misinterpret the verse "Guard your heart for out of it are all the issues of life." Growing up this verse was used regularly …

A Christmas Post

This year as Christmas has approached, I have found myself thinking of Mary. Being the mom of three boys, I think it’s easier for me to put myself in her place . . . and yet, who can imagine what that was really like?
I grew up in a very conservative group of believers who eschewed any focus on Mary in order to counteract what they saw as “worship” of Mary by Catholics and Episcopals and some other more liturgical beliefs.
But you can’t deny Mary had an experience that no one before her and no one after her will ever have. She had a unique relationship with Jesus. She was his mom.
Think about the facts as real life and not some story in a book you’ve heard a million times.
Mary was barely a teenager.She had never had sex.An angel appeared to her and told her she was having a baby.Mary is pregnant in a society that KILLS unwed mothers.Mary may have only barely known Joseph as their engagement was likely arranged . . . and he was probably much older. She had to go to this man and try to …

AMAZING Disney Fish Extender Gift Ideas

Being new to the Disney traveler's world meant being new to the FE world . . . and as we researched how we were going to participate in the FE that is a part of our cruise, we came across a lot of good FE ideas so I thought I would share them.

Disney Earrings - there are all kinds and many of them are one-of-a-kind but these are a novelty that I know I would love to get as an FE from someone else

Vintage Mickey Mouse Earrings - $3.99 MindieMay
Disney Character Clothes Pins - These would work well to close bags that hold other FE gifts or you could put a magnet on the back of each one and everyone could use them as note holders on the walls of their stateroom. Super cute - this vendor does a really good job with them.
Disney Character Clothes Pins-  OneMoreSunshine
Wave Phone Holders - If you need more information on what these are, you can see my previous post Top 5 Disney Necessities. Basically these are simple holders for a phone that Disney provides which is a cross between a cell p…