Apparently today, I have something to say.
I've been reading a really challenging book with an unusual title. Brace yourself - it's God and Boobs by Angie Schuller-Wyatt. Yep, Schuller, as in Robert Schuller of the Crystal Cathedral. It's written by his granddaughter. I was a little wary when I received a copy to review. Honestly I was afraid it was going to be irreverent at best and unbiblical at worst. But I haven't found that to be true. In fact, I've been very surprised to find it challenging and encouraging of me as a believer and as a woman - fully and completely, a woman.
One of the things that it mentioned is how often we misinterpret the verse "Guard your heart for out of it are all the issues of life." Growing up this verse was used regularly to explain to us that we should not freely give our hearts away or we would have nothing left to give when the time was important. (In reality it is a warning of WHO we give our heart to. It echoes the sentiment, "Do not cast your pearls before swine.")
I learned just as early in life that I didn't possess this capability. I could guard my heart, sure enough, I could choose those that I gave my heart to, but I failed miserably at containing my heart. I couldn't figure out how to love with part of me or in a good, steady measure. When I was in, I was ALL in. But, you know, time and wisdom have taught me that regardless of how much of your heart you give, in the end EVERYONE you give your heart to will break it. We are all infallible, imperfect people who make mistakes. We're going to let down the people we love. We're going to fall, flat on our faces at times. But if you could figure out a way to completely avoid being hurt, you would ultimately find you had also discovered how to completely avoid being truly, deeply loved as well.
There's a great song by MercyMe, "Goodbye, Ordinary":
When it gets confusing and hurtful and tiring, I remember that one day our lives, our world, our love will no longer be tainted by sin and our broken human nature. One day we will all love with abandon. Oh how I long for that day . . .