I don’t know how much I will post today.
Gone are the days of chubby cheeks, tottering steps and misspoken words.
We will be ushering in books, school friends and sports.
Mommy will learn to navigate the world of new friendships and families with different values. I will find myself torn between believing my son’s take on things and the teacher’s.
My boy will begin growing the wings he needs to be successful in this life. And he will begin to cut the strings that have tied him to me, dependent for everything from entertainment to nutrition.
I am excited and nervous. Afraid to watch him fail. More afraid to not let him try.
Mommy is learning to trust that my boy carries with him something more important than his last name or even the lessons he has learned in his first five years. Learning to trust that the One who has lent me this boy to love and encourage and raise will stay with him when I can’t.
This is the beginning of the hard lessons . . . how sometimes God can’t make Himself real to us until He removes all those things we rely on to make us feel safe and secure. I’m just not sure which one of us this lesson is actually for – me or Riley.
So, as you can see, my thoughts aren’t really focused on saving money or shopping or even on helping other people this morning. They are focused on this one little boy who stole his mommy’s heart five years ago and continues to amaze me every day. God is going to do incredible things in him and through him. And Mommy is going to have to grow up a little . . .